Choosing NOT to Do Business Like a Man

If I had a dollar for every time I've been told to "do business more like a man" throughout my career, I think I would have a couple hundred bucks! Especially in the past week, I think I'd have enough to at pay for lunch at least one day. WTF is up with people telling women that they need to do business more like a man?? I mean, what's wrong these days with actually doing business like a woman?

First of all, I am a woman and can't help that fact. Although I think it would be easier to be a man, we as women have the ability to experience things that they never will. Which I actually think makes us mentally stronger at times. Second of all, I've done business "Like a man" in the past, and been pegged as "a bitch" so either way I can't win. Ok, ok so I know that I'm generalizing a bit on this one - but that's what happens in the real business world. I know that this is a controversial topic and some people may be offended, but this is just my opinion.

Well, maybe now is the time for men to do business more like us women - we actually listen (ok- most of the time), we feel emotions about things (yes, sometimes TOO much, but that's ok), and often have a better gauge on how certain things will effect people. We also have a tendency to remember that relationships in business are equally as important as the business itself. I've tried to not bring emotion into the picture, but I've found it has lead to becoming numb to things - which is actually a scary thing that can often lead to recklessness. I've also tried to "think like a man" - once again which is hard for me to do because I'm NOT one! I can only think like me, be me and approach business the way I know in my heart is right. Maybe my approach isn't your approach, but if it was, wouldn't that make me a robot??

Now believe me, I'm not sexist at all. But regardless of what anyone says, it's still a man's world out there - or at least they are the ones mostly running the show. It's a known fact that they generally get paid more than women. They and are seen as "powerful" for some of the awful things they do politically or the way they act and can get away with more - especially fist pounding. Frankly, I am tired of it.

I'm really looking forward to one day working for someone who is successful in the workplace for doing business "like a woman." Maybe one day, I hope that I can be that person...but who knows since for the time being it's all men who are in charge of my fate....

Here's to Feb - Only 28 Days!

I was really hoping that 2011 was going to be a muccchhh better year, but so far it's not off to a great of a start.

Between battling illness (that stomach bug going around is DEADLY), snow storms, colds, my son going through a really whiny/clingy stage, leaky roofs, work and eyeball issues - January can be summed up as the month of endless hurdles and challenges. It seemed as if each week was a huge ordeal just to get through. A few weeks ago I remember someone at work asking what I was doing over the weekend - I was so focused just on getting through this week that I haven't spent one second thinking about it. And this is coming from me - Type A always planned and scheduled in advance. So that just goes to show you what kind of state I was in.

The good news is that we are all healthy again - hopefully now for awhile. We'd better be after I disinfected the crap out of the house after each bout with sickness. My eyeball issues have been resolved for the most part and resulted in getting LASIK last week. So, I'm actually able to see now - 20/20 for the first time I can remember! Still healing, but really excited about seeing like a normal person again. Dan and I also managed to get out a few times in the month of Jan thanks to good friends giving of their time to babysit so we can spend some time together. And although I turned another year older (bad), but had a great birthday thanks to my wonderful hubby.

That being said, there are still things coming out of Jan that are still unresolved. Things at work and my job are still up in the air. Playing the waiting game right now which can drive anyone crazy. I really don't do well with uncertainty. My son is still going through his whiny/clingy stage that I hope he gets over really soon. I can't do anything without him attached to my leg or crying - which is frustrating - especially when spending so much time together housebound thanks to all the snow and sickness. Oh yes speaking of which - we are only supossed to get another 15+ inches this week which is great. Which could mean more leaky roof issues - gotta love old "charming" homes!

Anyway, I am hopeful that February will be a better, less eventful month. Thank God it's only 28 days!

I know I've been really bad at posting updates and promise to get better at this! (But some of what I felt like writing this past month was probably better not to be put into actual writing)

Uncertainity and a fresh start....

I hope everyone had safe and happy holidays! Was great to have some time off before starting the new year and was looking forward to having a fresh start. To well.... just about everything.

Well, looks like I began to get my wish as I walked into work on Monday of this past week to find out the client I was working on decided to part ways with us. Without giving away all the gory details, this often happens at agencies - this was just very sudden and unexpected. Of course being in agencies forever, I've been through similar circumstances in the past. I've just always worked at large agencies, when there was client turn-over, they always found new things for us left behind to work on usually pretty quickly. But it's much different in a smaller shop, and I would be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't worried.

The good news was that I was able to get myself onto two new business pitches in the past week. They are extremely fast-paced, often grueling, demanding, terribly time consuming, take an enormous amount of coordination and organization - and yet I really seem to enjoy them. Somehow they fit well with my personality and work-style ; ) This was my first time working on new business at this agency, so it was a definite learning experience for me.

The really sucky part was that one of the pitches was due to be submitted on Friday, and come crunch time, I woke up with two infected eyeballs that burned like hell. I almost had to pull over a few times on my way to work and really shouldn't have been driving or operating heavy machinery. In a panic, I ran to my eye doctor for an emergency appointment hoping for some miracle drops so I could jet back to work to get everything done that was needed last-minute.

My eye doc took one look at me and immediately made another emergency appointment with one of the best eye specialists in Boston. As much as I went kicking and screaming, it turns out I have two ulcers on my eyes and am now doomed to wearing glasses for God only knows how long. After spending hours at the specialist, they basically gave me some drugs and told me I had to go home and rest. So much for being a part of the last-minute pitch! I totally felt that I let everyone down when it really mattered. Although feeling guilty and horrible, I also realized that some things are more important in life....such as being able to see! If I can't see, I can't work - it's as simple as that.

Anyway, going through all this in the past week - I have learned a lot about myself. The future is couldn't be more uncertain right now and surprisingly, I'm ok with that. Being a extreme type A control freak, this is new territory for me. Whatever happens, happens and I just need to be able to roll with it. If we don't win new business and I loose my job, we'll survive. And if things work out and we do win, I'll be able to start fresh on a new client.

Only time will tell I guess. In the meantime, at least I'll be able to see! : )

Finally coming up for air!

Ahhhh .... end of year wrap up, the holidays, and organizing the house (a struggle for me to begin with... add a toddler and the bottom falls out) ... aka - insanity.

But now, insanity is cooling off a bit.  Why?  Well the holidays are over... And I LOVE the holidays.  Even with the craziness, I LOVE the holidays.  As we know I thrive off of insanity, so as long as I have my two weeks off, I can love the holidays as much as I did when I was a kid - but for different reasons.

Over the last two weeks, I have managed to travel for three days for work, go to four holiday parties, pick out many presents and wrap several more, put together a "Step 2" kitchen for my toddler (which I might add puts my kitchen to shame), clean and rearrange my bedroom and closet, have several tea parties with my little one (love the Mrs Potts Tea Set and tray), Cook and bake like a maniac - cheesecake, jello tortes, brownies, cookies, cupcakes ... a complete turkey AND ham dinner with all the fixings (yes, it was my first time cooking a turkey and it was a success... or so my guests said), finalize some loose ends at work while I am away, and start to chair an event at my little one's school.

As you can tell, there were many accomplishments that I had over the last couple of weeks.  Some work related, but most little person / family related.  While the accomplishments shifted to my little person and family, the common theme here is the insanity that I thrive on.  Which is why when I go back to work on Monday, I am going to miss the home craziness, but will like the change of pace... especially because I will only have a week or so to put together an entire day of client meetings!

But, as I roll into 10 days of craziness at work, I will have come up for air for a bit with a clean house, a happy child and husband... and then will dive right back into it.

Good riddance 2010! Thanks for everything

It's that time of year again where the Christmas holidays are over, all the presents unwrapped, and our houses (that looked like a bomb went off) and lives are finally starting to get back to normal. Hopefully you all have been able to find some time to rest and spend quality time with the family. Oh yea, and of course hit all those after-Christmas sales! (I know I'll hit them a few times ; ) Soooo, with New Year's approaching, now is time to start the usual reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the next.....

And God am I looking forward to the next! I'm not going to lie and deny that 2010 was a shit year that I'd like to forget. Actually, for most of us. I've been at parties where we've played the "who gets the brownie for the worst year" game. And the stories are usually doozies. I thought that I would win the brownie for having 3 jobs (starting 2 new ones), moving twice, packing and paying for moving twice, a mortgage and rental for 6+ months, being uncertain and unhappy about decisions, not knowing often where we belong, trying to adjust to new things, realizing who our real friends are and who we can trust (the hard way), and still trying to recuperate from it all.

When I had this conversation with my husband - being the optimist he is - reminded me of all the good things that came out of the year. That we went through everything we did in order to realize certain things - where we really want to live, where we want our kids to grow up and where our home is and we truly belong. We also now know who our true friends are and how lucky we were to have jobs through it all. I'll be the first to admit that most of what we went through in 2010 was self-inflicted. We chose to move, put our house up for sale in the worst market ever, start new jobs and change our lives, etc.

I want to say we made the worst decisions this past year, but there's also nothing wrong with taking risks in life. Sometimes they work out for the better and sometimes they don't. Life is boring without taking risks - I've just come to realize that they need to be more calculated. And perhaps a bit smaller....

That being said, I'm sure you can guess my New Year's resolution! Don't get me wrong - I will still continue to take risks in life - that's the kind of person I am. But the next time I feel the urge for a big change in life, someone PLEASE remind me to redeisgn a room in my house, take a trip or just get a new wardrobe. It will be so much easier and cheaper!

So, thanks for all the lessons you've taught me 2010. Good riddance and thanks for everything!

If Agency life isn't crazy enough...throw in the holidays

So if our lives working in agencies (crazy hours) and being moms (24/7) - go ahead and throw in the holidays!! It's like someone said - let's make things EXTRA fun and EXTRA interesting. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't thrive off of the craziness even more.

This year the craziness started earlier this month with my son learning how to climb. And when I say "climb", I mean getting up onto things and then falling his way off. Which has definitely made life interesting. He comes home from daycare every day with some new bump or bruise and somehow wakes up with new ones in the morning. We can't let him out of our sight....even for a second. Or else he ends up chewing on our iphone cords or hanging out in the dog's cages - which would be fine if he didn't try to eat their bedding.

Anyway, things at work are crazy with clients trying to cram everything in before the holidays. Of course wit's the "see how much we can fit in" before they all go on vacation (because of course we agency people never really get a thing called vacation). We are going through all the last-minute meetings, concerns, etc that makes our job really fun.

On top of work and taking care of my son, throw in the holiday parties, get togethers, cocktail hours, etc. And of course we decide to have friends over for a get-together as well. And we can't forget all the time shopping for gifts (from the toy store to the liquor store) and then the pain of wrapping and shipping everything. This is also why we go to visit Santa at 5:30 p.m. on a random Tuesday - because it's the only time we can find to squeeze it in. (Which actually worked to our favor because who the hell goes to see Santa at that time???)

And if we weren't short enough on time, we decided to go to New York for the day on Saturday to do some shopping and see some friends who are moving down south. Because of course we have to do it now. And on Sunday we are having our get-together so we can see our friends who we consider family and have quality holiday time with them.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't love it. But I'm not going to lie when I say I can't wait for the actual holiday to get some R&R. Because we decided this year to opt-out of the festivities for the actual holiday. That we are going to spend it at home - just the 3 of us. The way God intended it. In peace and quiet. With our Christmas lasagna and presents we actually asked for. Who could ask for anything more?? Ok so I'm asking for a real vacation without having to work between Christmas and New Year's - but one can always dream, can't we???

Tis the season to give - or not....

This past week, a co-worker “shattered the glass” around someone we both mutually know from our past. If you’ve never heard of this phrase, it is when someone points something out to you about another person that you never really noticed before – something huge that you’ll probably never really be able to get over or past. Well, my co-worker “shattered the glass” that this person had the choice to really help me in a certain situation – to make a huge difference, and purposely chose to turn their back. Now, I knew this to some extent, but since I had a long-standing relationship with this person who I really trusted/respected, I think I purposely tried to ignore the truth. To give them the benefit of the doubt. The hard part is that this person also acted like they were actually going to help me and specifically choose not to – for whatever reason (although I can guess).

So, now that the glass has been shattered around this person, it’s hard for me not to be angry about it. And of course now I’m wary of asking anyone for help ever again. But then, looking back on the year, I can’t help but reflect upon the help that people have given to me personally and to my family – most of the time without us even having to ask. Those who have given of their time and helped me network and find jobs (2 this year to be exact), helped with my son, helped us move twice, help us get acclimated to new places, helped us make new friends, vested time and interest in us, drove us to and from airports in MA and PA, provided us free places to say, given of their time listening, given advice, counseling, coaching, people who have invited us into their homes, given of their food/liquor, thrown us parties (going away/coming home), someone even helped clean our entire house this year for us prior to moving back in…

So moving forward, I’m going to focus on the good people in our lives. It’s hard enough to accept help when offered, but I think it’s even harder when we actually had to ask for it. And a thousand times harder when asked for, and purposely not helped. Or maybe it’s just a thousand times harder to swallow.

My general philosophy in life is that if someone asks me for help, I try to do everything in my power to help them – with the hopes that when I need it, the same favor would be returned to me (if not by them, then by someone else). You know, the whole karma thing.

So where am I going with all this?? Tis' the season to give. Be careful who you trust. And to everyone that’s helped us over the past year – I can only thank you and hope that I can somehow repay the favor. To those who purposely didn’t….well…you know who you are. What goes around comes around and karma can be a bitch!